In Which I Made A Questionable Online Purchase So You Don’t Have To

Not so very long ago, these ads popped up all over Facebook:

Take home this Antique Gallifreyan Pendant Necklace… Get this Limited Edition Necklace for FREE!… First *100* Only, Order yours now

Take home this Time Lord Seal Necklace, Get this Limited Edition Necklace for FREE!… First *125* Only, Order yours now

So, of course, having no willpower, possessed of a somewhat competitive streak, and always eager to add to my Time Lady jewelry box, I went for it.

On October 8th, I ordered both, at $8.95 US each, for the cost of shipping. I eventually received the Time Lord Seal Necklace. I’m going to guess that the Super El-Nino, or a Kraken, or the Zygon Invasion, sank the transport ship from China that had my Antique Gallifreyan Pendant Necklace in one of its containers.

I’ll start with the obvious: I got what I paid for.

WOAB/Victoria Vernell
WOAB/Victoria Vernell
WOAB/Victoria Vernell
WOAB/Victoria Vernell
WOAB/Victoria Vernell
WOAB/Victoria Vernell
WOAB/Victoria Vernell
WOAB/Victoria Vernell

The published dimension of 78 cm speaks more or less to the length of the chain – a rare bonus for those of us with wider-than-average necks, so I’ll thank the manufacturer for that – and not the diameter of the pendant itself. The chain, however, is cheap: one good yank and the thing is gone. (Note to self: don’t wear it around young children with grabby hands or anywhere it could get snagged.) I wear progressive lenses – encroaching middle age be damned – and I still had trouble making out the detail on the pendant, even after cleaning my glasses with soap and water to remove all traces of sticky Junior Time Lord fingerprints.

I am actually more disappointed that the pendant I really wanted – the Antique version – was the one I didn’t get, and is out there somewhere taunting Dory the blue tang fish with its tin alloy shine. I will be requesting a refund, although I do question whether just asking for a replacement necklace would take less time overall.

Rating: 1 out of 5 sonic sunglasses

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